After making the decision to become born again and follow Jesus, the second biggest decision you will ever make in your life is whom you decide to marry. Therefore, it is very important to make this decision wisely. It is not enough to choose a man for his good looks or for his financial status. It is also not enough to think a man is fit to become your husband just because you are physically attracted to him.
Most women say they have to kiss a lot of “frogs” before they can discover their Prince charming. It sounds like an endless process of shattered expectations, disappointments and heartbreak. You are far too precious in the sight of God to subject yourself to such pain. Your worth is too priceless to settle for anything less than what is God’s best for you. You should consider cutting off all the random admirers in your life and be more like those women who are purpose driven and intentional about whom they date.
If you have found someone you like, it would absolutely help if you took it to God in prayer. The best way to ask God for your future husband is through prayer. The bible tells us not to worry about anything. Instead, we should pray about everything, telling God what we need and thanking Him for all He has done, (Philippians 4:6 NLT). God hears our prayers and makes the desires of our heart His priority. It is important to put your sentiments aside and ask God to confirm the desires of your heart. Instead of praying and asking for a guy to become your husband, it is rather better to adopt this approach: ask God for clarity on the desires of your heart and for God to confirm if this guy is the one. If indeed he is the one, God will confirm it in your heart and will also take a step further to make the guy know that you are his future wife as well. Do not forget to pray that God should take away the desires and feelings that you have for this man if he is not the one. This will help you move on quickly to focus on the process of discovering who your future husband is without distorting your vision or distracting you from your mission.
Just like you draw up a vision board for your career or business path, have a clear picture of what you want in a future partner. Draw up a list of qualities you desire in your future husband. It will give you a clear directive of what to pray about. Ensure you also possess the matching qualities that you are asking God to be found in your man. For a marriage to work, you also need to bring something to the table. If you desire an alpha male to become your husband, then you must work on yourself to become an alpha female too. Boaz in the Bible was an alpha male. One of the things he was most noted for in the society that he lived in was his integrity. Everyone could vouch for him that he was a god-fearing man of honour. The Bible also described him as “a mighty man of wealth,” (Ruth 2:1). The first time Boaz set his eyes on Ruth was on his field. She wasn’t doing anything really special. She was gleaning ears of corn which were lying waste on his field, just like any other poor person who came to the field to pick scraps was doing. In fact, her poor status and what she was doing at the time could never have attracted such a wealthy man who was at his farm to check how business was going that day. However, Boaz took notice of her that day and asked his workers, “Whose damsel is this?” (Ruth 2:5). The workers told Boaz that Ruth had been working hard in the field from early in the morning, until that evening time when their master had come to inspect their work for the day. Boaz sent for Ruth and gave her his permission to come to the field at anytime she wanted and could gather as much grain as she wanted. He assured her that nobody would harass her on his property and if she was tired or thirsty, she was free to take refreshment from where it was kept on the farm, (Ruth 2:9). Ruth was confused. She didn’t understand why Boaz was so kind to her. She was a foreigner and not from his country. When she asked him why she found grace in his sight, Boaz told her that her good reputation far exceeded her! He had heard all that she had done for her mother in law.
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What was this good reputation? Naomi and her late husband Elimelech years before had relocated to the land of Moab with their two adult sons, Mahlon and Chilion. They were trying to escape a great famine in Israel at the time. The two sons married wives in Moab named Ruth and Orpah. Unfortunately, Elimelech and his two sons later died, leaving Naomi and her daughters in law to become widows. Left with nothing, Naomi decided to return to her home country to live out the rest of her life in loneliness. Her daughters in law were both eager to return with her, but she urged them to remain in Moab and not follow her. Ruth and Orpah were both still young. They could remarry. Naomi did not want to impose on them by taking them away from their country and from their family and the people they knew and loved. The women still insisted and followed her anyway. On the way to Bethlehem-Judah, Naomi managed to convince Orpah who turned and headed back to Moab. Ruth however, was adamant. She told her mother in law:
“Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.
Where you die I will die and there I will be buried. May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely if anything but death separates you and me.” (Ruth 1:16-17 NLT).
When Naomi realized Ruth was determined on her mission, she stopped urging her. Naomi and Ruth arrived Israel, empty-handed, broke and penniless. They had nothing to eat. That’s when Ruth decided to go into any field to gather left over grain. Somehow, the Lord led her into the field of Boaz. Let us examine some of the good qualities in the character of Ruth which is believed made Boaz to be attracted to her.
- Devoted Love and Loyalty: Ruth loved her late husband so much that even in death; she honoured his memory by transferring that love and loyalty to his mother. She displayed a love that was more like devotion. Men adore women who have a ride or die quality. Boaz knew if he got a woman like that, she would never leave his side and he could count on her for anything.
- Ability to adjust to unfavourable situations: Most women these days only hang around a man for what he can provide. You can only get the best out of these women only when the going is good. Once things start to get hard, they leave. Ruth knew Naomi was broke and penniless but she stuck to her all the same. She also offered to brainstorm on how to solve their hunger problem. Men love women who can contribute to finding solutions to their challenges.
- A Hardworker: The workers on the field testified that Ruth was gathering grain from morning to evening; long after other gleaners had left. There is no doubt that as Boaz’s wife, she was more than capable of handling his estate and his business.
The moral of the story is that Ruth got herself a premium quality husband without even trying so hard or praying. Her exceptional character went ahead of her, laying the ground work for her. Working on yourself first will always put you at a great advantage. When you combine that with prayers, it will definitely yield perfect results.
PRAYER POINTS
- Father in heaven, I come before You this day just as I am, like a vessel in the potter’s hands. You o Lord are the Almighty Potter. Mash me and mould me anew that I might become a vessel unto Your glory. I surrender my life and my will to You. Teach me how to be a woman with strength of character. Transform me to be all that my future husband will desire and need in me, in Jesus mighty name, amen.
- Lord, I pray that you send me a man of integrity who fears You. I pray for a man who will love, respect, honour and protect me. A man who will make me a priority as Christ made the church a priority, in Jesus name, amen (Ephesians 5:25).
- Lord, I pray that my future husband has the wisdom to find me, like Abraham’s servant did for Isaac, (Genesis 24:12-14). Give him the faith and confidence to go after me and woo me. Do not let anything hold him back. Whatever his doubts or fears may be, give him the understanding to realize that we are meant for each other. I come against any obstacle that may hinder us from finding each other in Jesus mighty name, amen.
- I am fearfully and wonderfully made by you o Lord. Give me the grace to control myself. May I not be carried away by every man I see. Grant me the patience and wisdom to look with care in making my choice of a future husband in Jesus name, amen, (Psalm 139:14).
- I have chosen not to worry about time fast running out on me. I have decided to take this up in prayer to you Father, because You have told me not to worry but talk to You about anything that bothers me. Let my future husband and I find each other soonest in Jesus name, amen.
- Father, bless me with outstanding qualities in my character and in my life that I might have something solid to bring to the table when I eventually meet my future husband, in Jesus name, amen.
- I list all the qualities I want in my future husband right now, (read your list out loud in God’s presence). Lord, please bring a man with such qualities into my life in Jesus name.