There is nothing more painful than loving a spouse who pays you back with heartbreak, humiliation and betrayal. Marriage involves a whole lot of commitment. For women mostly, this also means a great deal of sacrifice. In adapting to the new role of wife and much sooner mother, a woman tends to lose her sense of self because a huge part of her is committed to fitting in as the perfect lover and friend to her husband.
The other part is devoted to nurturing and raising young children who demand constant care and attention. This takes a great toll on the physical and emotional life of the woman. It helps when her husband constantly appreciates the effort she is putting in as a partner and homemaker. It helps even better when he reaffirms that she is performing greatly at it. When her body changes because of childbirth, it helps even best for him to assure her that she has never looked more beautiful.
The last thing a faithful wife needs to know is that her husband is cheating. It is very heartbreaking and the emotions that course through her each time she thinks about it can be quite petrifying. There is a popular English idiom adapted from William Congreve’s play which says: “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.” This is so true in reality because for most women. The first emotion they process when they find out about their husband’s infidelity is anger and then pain. Next, is a feeling of rage and for those who cannot exercise self control at that moment, they may feel the need for vengeance.
Olivia did not see the warning signs. She was too deeply in love with Derek to realize precisely what she was getting herself into. They had been married for eight years. In the first year of their marriage, they had both agreed that Olivia would become a stay-at-home mom so that she can give proper attention to the children. She had a master’s degree in Media Communication and worked as a senior editor in a top rated international fashion magazine. She resigned from her job, moved out of her luxury apartment in downtown Manhattan and relocated all the way to Iowa, leaving the life and people that she knew behind. Derek lived in Des Moines and worked as an industrial truck driver. This means that he was on the road most of the time and hardly ever available. When he came home, he looked too tired to be of any fun or meaningful company to his wife. No matter how hard Olivia tried to plan an activity that would allow them make the best of their time together, Derek would shove her off like she didn’t matter.
Soon enough, gossip about his hooking up with other women out of town began to float into her ears. When she confronted him about it, he told her she was nothing but a lazy, boring wife who stays all day at home doing nothing. He despised her for not making any money to contribute financially to the home. She was sad, helpless and confused. She thought of the successful life she had left behind to marry this man. She kept praying and hoping that he would feel sorry for his actions and outgrow the flagrant display of his extramarital affairs. Instead, it kept getting worse. It didn’t look as if he would ever grow up to take up his role as a faithful and loving husband. Derek felt he was doing more than enough already as the sole financial provider in the family. He didn’t feel in the least remorseful about his ill treatment of his wife, neither did he feel that he needed to be accountable for his terrible and treacherous actions.
What should Olivia do? File for divorce and full custody of the kids? Move back to New York, where her family and friends are? Plot a painful revenge to teach Derek a lesson? What does the Bible teach us about handling an adulterous husband? The book of Malachi explains that a man can lose favour with God and be deprived of divine blessings if he cheats on his wife. God will not even accept his worship! God is a witness to the vows a man makes to his wife on their wedding day and holds him accountable for it. God unites a man with his wife as one entity because He demands godly children from that union. There are actually dire consequences for a man who cheats on his wife, (Malachi 2:14-17). In the book of Proverbs 7:24-27, there is also a warning for adulterous men. It reads,
“Now then, my sons, listen to me; pay attention to what I say.
Do not let your heart turn to her ways or stray into her paths.
Many are her victims she has brought down; her slain are a mighty throng.
Her house is a highway to the grave, leading down to the chambers of death.” (NIV)
As a Christian woman, it is advisable to try as much as you can to save your marriage because God says in His word that He hates divorce, (Malachi 2:16). Divorcing an adulterous husband because of his infidelity is permissible, (Matthew 19:7-9; 1Corinthians 7:15-17) but this should only be applied as a last resort. As children of God we always believe in the power of prayer. We acquire wisdom to act in the place of prayer. We also receive strength to overcome every challenge and setback in the place of prayer.
Prayers for a Cheating Husband to Stop
- Father in heaven, I come to you this day with a very heavy heart. My husband has broken the holy vows of our matrimony and has no feeling of remorse for his wrongdoing. The thought of his unfaithfulness is breaking my heart. Dear Father, please cause him to realize the consequences of his actions. Let him come to his senses. Let every excuse he may make to justify his behavior come crashing down. Let him realize the pain and shame that he is causing me and our children. O Lord, let his temporary pleasure with whomever he is cheating with always leave a sour taste in his mouth. Give him the strength to permanently pit an end to every adulterous relationship. Bring his heart back home, in Jesus name amen.
- Lord God, I want my husband’s affair to come to an end. Whatever may be attraction for him, open his eyes to see that it is only for a time before beauty fades away. Give him the wisdom to perceive my inner qualities. Let him come to the understanding that no woman can ever support, care or love him like I do. Let him hunger and thirst only for my bosom and my company in Jesus mighty name, amen.
- I come before You, Lord Jesus and ask that you fight this battle for me. In the name of Jesus, I declare victory over the spirit of adultery, lust, and betrayal that is controlling my husband. I come against any evil power that is working against my marriage in Jesus mighty name! I speak Your Spirit of holiness and obedience into my husband and declare over him the power to overcome every temptation of the flesh. I decree that every foundation and stronghold connected to my unhappiness in this marriage be crushed forever, in Jesus mighty name! I claim my husband’s deliverance from adultery in Jesus name, amen.
- Lord Jesus, each step of this journey is getting more painful to walk through but I thank You because You have been my strength and my consolation. I do not know how much longer I can endure this pain and humiliation. Let Your Spirit of wisdom counsel me,o Lord. Let me know if this pain will only be for a season or if I need to walk out of this marriage. I know that I am free to divorce him because he has defiled our marriage bed, but I need to know if there is a hope of restoration. I need your counsel now more than ever in Jesus name, amen.
- Heavenly Father, put back the pieces of my shattered heart together again and help me heal. Help me forgive my husband for breaking the sacred vows of our marriage and give me the strength to put the memory of his betrayal behind me. Heal every part of my wounded spirit and my emotions. Heal every broken part of my marriage o Lord! Initiate genuine repentance in the heart of my husband and give him the determination to remain faithful in this marriage. Help us rebuild our broken foundation and let our latter love be even stronger than the former in Jesus mighty name, amen.
- Father Lord, I pray that you begin Your work in my husband’s heart. Convict his conscience to feel remorse over his actions and return home for good. Let him confess his unfaithfulness to me, admit his wrongs and come to genuine repentance. Make him broken and ashamed of his actions. Provide us with experienced people who can give us effective counseling. Lead us on the path to restoring our marriage. Help us to be obedient to every counsel that would make the healing of our marriage a reality in Jesus mighty name I pray, amen.
Prayers for my Husband to Leave the Other Woman
- Father, I want to bless your name for revealing this affair of my husband with the other woman to me. Thank Jesus that you did not allow the devil to keep this hidden from me till things get out of hand or destroy my home. Thank you Jesus for this act of kindness and love that you have shown me. All the glory and adoration be to your name in Jesus’ name.
- Lord, the crack of the wall of my marriage that the strange woman is using to claim my husband, please fill it up by your mercy in the name of Jesus. Lord, I have come to where my strength cannot carry me, please help me to fill up the cracks in the wall of my home through which the other woman is having the advantage to claim my husband in the name of Jesus.
- Father, I come by the covenant of our marriage which we made before you and eyewitnesses that my husband cannot belong to any other woman except me. Your word says whosoever the Lord has joined together, let no man put asunder. Lord, this is your word and it cannot be broken. I am aware that you are careful to bring your word to pass, the case of my marriage cannot be different, therefore I recover my husband from the strange woman in the name of Jesus.
- Lord, my husband has transgressed and he has failed our marital vows, please have mercy on him. I stand in the gap for your mercy over his life in the name of Jesus. Father, do not allow this to destroy him in the name of Jesus. Lord, let him find favor with you to retrace his steps and amend his ways in the name of Jesus. I plead for forgiveness on his behalf and divine help to find himself back in the name of Jesus.
- Lord, I come against every demonic influence used by the other woman to keep my husband in the illicit affair in the name of Jesus. Every satanic power channeled to keep him in adultery is broken in the name of Jesus. Father, open his eyes from whatever is used to blindfold him in the name of Jesus. I declare the end of such powers in the name of Jesus. The scripture says once have I spoken but twice have I heard that the power belongs to God, therefore every other is no power in the name of Jesus.
- Lord, every satanic-influenced friend encouraging my husband in adultery is hereby separated from him in the name of Jesus. I break such relationships by the power of the most high in the name of Jesus. For the scripture says of what connection is light with darkness, I curse that relationship and I bring it to naught in the name of Jesus. Not only the relationship but every evil counsel of adultery is made of no effect on my husband going forward in the name of Jesus.
- Lord, I pray unto you please stop the operation of the spirit of adultery in my husband’s life in the name of Jesus. Lord, please break the power and stronghold of adultery in his life in the name of Jesus. Grant him the will to be committed to our marital vows in the name of Jesus. Like Joseph, let him have the will to run away from all appearances of adultery in the name of Jesus.
- Lord, I come against every verdict placed by an evil court against my marriage in the name of Jesus. The scripture says let only God be true and all men liars. Who has spoken when God has not said so? Therefore, every verdict of the evil coven upon my marriage that brought up this other woman is revoked in the name of Jesus.
- Lord, please give unto my husband the wisdom needed to handle the situation without further issues and problems in the name of Jesus. Lord, scripture says if we ask for wisdom, you will give. On the basis of your word, I ask for wisdom for my husband so that he won’t take a wrong step that may destroy our home in the name of Jesus.
- Thank you Jesus because you have heard my prayers. I return all glory to you because you have stepped into the situation and testimonies will evolve to your glory in Jesus’ name. Thank you for restoring my husband and my home. Thank you, Jesus!
As you fight for your marriage by praying through the situation, keep in your mind that you must hold your peace and allow God to act. Don’t pray and scatter things with your impatience. If you can handle it by yourself, then no need to pray about it.