Having a relationship with your parents is a good thing that must be encouraged irrespective of how old your parent has become and the situations that may have surrounded your relationship. It is no news that you will have a relationship with your parent, making it cordial is what is important. So, in this piece, we shall take a look at how to establish one and maintain it.
How to have and maintain a good relationship with your parents
Settle the issue
Usually, when there is a need to establish a relationship with your parent, it means that something has happened with the relationship you had initially. This means that something must have broken the relationship. So, to start establishing the relationship, you will need to settle any issue that may have destroyed it in the first place.
Depending on what the issue is, you may need to get someone that your parent can relate with and that they respect to talk things out. You both may have acted in different ways based on the situation and your knowledge at the time of the incident. You can walk with your parent’s clergy. Where they are at fault, it is good to forgive them with the whole of your heart.
Give
Next, take it upon yourself to honor your parent with your substance. Plan to give them something to take care of their needs every month. The saying that no one cares about what you say to them until you care for them is true. If you want your parent to perceive the love and care you have for them, make provisions for them on a regular basis. This will help to serve as a foundation for the relationship you are building.
Communication
If any relationship will be a success, it must have strong communication. This means that you must have a good communication stream with your parent. Create a way to keep your communication link intact. Hmmm, I know you would be thinking of what you would be discussing especially if you have been apart for so long. Talk about the weather, your work, their health, plans you have for them, each other, etc.
About the communication, make sure that the communication is not one-sided. If it is one-sided, let it be from you and not from them. Practice active listening to understand whatever they are saying to be sure you are communicating indeed. Don’t let it be that it is only when you meet that you communicate. Keep the communication alive whether you are together or not.
Also Read: Good Morning Prayers for Family and Friends
Visitation
After this, have a regular schedule to visit them. The frequency of the visit will be determined by the distance between you too. But let it be evident that you are not abandoning them. I know that you will be busy with work and other things but make sure you reach out
to them in person. And when you visit, let it be a visit indeed where you share thoughts and jokes together.
For visitation, make sure you do it often in such a way that they would be able to see that you value them and their presence. Let the visitation be from both parties. That means once in a while plan for them to visit you but ensure it is when you will have time for them so that they won’t be bored when you are gone for your normal activities.
Mutual Interest
One of the reasons the relationship between parents and children fizzles out is a lack of mutual interest. As parent grow older their focus and ideas on things may become obsolete and they will never agree that it is outdated while the children are saying they want the trending things. If the relationship must be ignited and maintained, we will need to find common grounds and mutual interests to dwell on.
Also, as children irrespective of our age, we need to respect their decisions and choice on some issues. This must be done respectfully not just as a duty. With this, we can begin to show them the way to respect our opinions too. But we must be calm in this process so as not to destroy the relationship we are building on such an irrelevant matter.
Disagreement and Fights
The best of relationship in the world is not the one without fights and disagreement, it is the one in which they know how to manage their differences. Truth be told, you would disagree on matters as you continue in the relationship but it is wise to find a mechanism along the line to settle disagreement whenever it happens.
An example of a mechanism is to never get yourself involved in any argument no matter how tempting it may seem. You can also avoid the use of hurting words, remember they are your parent, and you ought to respect them under any circumstances. It is true that dealing with parents may sometimes be stretching us out of our comfort zones, especially the elderly ones.
Healthy Surprises
Once in a while plan to give them healthy surprises. By healthy surprises, we mean a kind of surprise that will make them happy not the whole that will take their breath away. So, you can get things that they like or an unexpected visit when they longed to see you. Do this for them to make them laugh, those are the moments they will cherish.
Humor
Lastly, whether you are talking to your parents over the phone or in person, ensure you do it with a deep sense of humor. A sense of humor is one way to elongate their lives. Let them be rest assured that with your presence, happiness is a must. This will make them look forward to your presence or phone call.
Conclusively, you can build and maintain a good relationship with your parents irrespective of what has gone wrong before now. Please note that this is not all that can be done to achieve this but these are well-known ways that have given results over the years.