How to Pray for a Narcissist

Praying for Someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

A narcissistic person basically has a personality disorder. Narcissism is one of several types of personality disorders. It is a mental condition where a person has an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive admiration that requires for you to give them excessive attention. This behavior usually triggers troubled relationships and lack of empathy for others. Behind the charade of extreme self confidence lies a fragile self esteem that is vulnerable even to the slightest of criticisms.

Most people with a narcissistic personality disorder don’t interact well with other people, because they cause problems in many areas of life such as work, relationships or school. Such people may generally be unhappy when they are not given the special favours or treatment they feel they deserve. They tend to see life as unfulfilling and may make life unpleasant for those around them.

How can you tell if someone is a narcissist?

  • A common sign of someone with a narcissistic personality disorder is the belief that they are superior to others and therefore deserve special treatment.
  • They have a manipulative and controlling behavior.
  • They have a sense of entitlement where they require constant and excessive admiration.
  • They monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior.
  • They expect to be recognized even when their life achievements do not warrant it.
  • They exaggerate their achievements and talents.
  • They take advantage of people to get what they want.
  • They are incapable of recognizing the needs and feelings of others.
  • They are envious of others and believe that others also envy them.
  • They are most likely to behave in an arrogant manner. They come across as rude, conceited, pretentious and boastful.
  • They are preoccupied with personal fantasies of power, success, beauty, or the perfect partner.

The root of Narcissism can be traced to childhood and the broad impact which society has on that person. Other root causes include parental abuse, neglect or exploitation. All these result to deprived emotional needs that leave such people with a longing for affirmation and low self esteem. Interpersonal conflict ensues when these needs are not gratified. Although narcissism is a trait, it can also be a part of a larger personality disorder. This means that not every narcissist has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), as narcissism is a spectrum.

Everyone tends to display occasional narcissistic behavior. However, true narcissists very often disregard other people and their feelings. Also they tend not to understand the effect that their behavior has on other people. Did you know that narcissistic people can often be very charismatic and charming? Often times, they do not exhibit their negative behavior right away, especially when they are in relationships. It is quite common to see them surround themselves with people who feed their ego. Within their circle of admirers, they build relationships to reinforce the ideologies they have concocted to boost their self esteem, even if these relationships are superficial.

After finding out the true character of a narcissist, one may be forced to ask if a person with this disorder is capable of being cured. There is no cure for narcissism, but spiritual counseling and therapy can help. They ought to be professionally guided on how to have a more realistic expectation of others.

The aim of helping people in this situation is to build up their low self esteem, but most importantly it is to enable them overcome the sin of self pride which is a deadly sin that is not of the Father. As believers, we are not called to have a spirit of pride. Pride promotes self-centerednes and selfishness. Pride is what brought about the downfall of Lucifer. The thought of exalting himself to be higher than his Maker made him lose his glory and his place in heaven. Likewise, a narcissist stands the risk of losing his salvation and place in heaven if they continue in such self absorption.

The cause of narcissistic disorder is unknown. Therefore, there is no medically known way to prevent the condition. However it may help to constantly uphold a person with narcissistic personality disorder in constant prayer because prayer can change any situation. Here are five powerful prayers points you could use in praying for a narcissist.

5 Prayer Points for a Narcissist

  1. Heavenly Father, I pray for (call their name) who is battling the spirit of narcissism in their life right now. Create a pure heart in him/her oh Lord and renew a steadfast spirit within him/her. Help him/her overcome the spirit of pride that makes him/her focus on himself/herself. Show him/her the importance of putting God first in his/her life. Holy Spirit, teach him/her how to seek You first and the righteousness of your kingdom so that the ultimate good in him/her will be revealed and they will be set free by the truth of Your word. (Psalm 51:10; Matthew 16: 24; Luke 6:33).
  2. Holy Spirit, I feel distraught and used. I do not know how long I can continue to endure his/her controlling, arrogant and condescending behavior. I fear that his/her behavior may scar me if he/she keeps at it. I pray for patience and strength to continue staying in this relationship. I also want to hear Your still small voice counsel me on the next step to take. Lord I need to know if I should continue waiting on You to change him or if I should move on. Guide me o Lord, in Jesus name, (Psalm 23:2-3).
  3. Holy Spirit, I pray for your wisdom as I confront my loved one. His/her selfish desires are consuming him/her every day, open his/her heart so that the truth of Your message will convict him. Use me as Your vessel to speak to him/her in a way that he/she will understand. Put in my mouth the right words to say. Let my words be fitly spoken like apples of gold set in a vessel of beaten silver. Lead me on how to point out his/her flaws without causing any damage. Give him/her the courage and the grace to repent of this behavior in Jesus mighty name, amen. (Proverbs 25:11).
  4. Holy Father, help me not to judge my loved one. Give me the grace to continue praying fervently for his/her salvation. Help him/her not to be so focused on him/her, but be selfless and compassionate. Let Your Holy Spirit teach him/her to know that the pride of life is a deadly sin and not of the Father. Let Your truth be planted in his/her heart so that he/she will not drift away from You and end up on a dark path. Let Your truth form the foundation of his/her reasoning so that his/her self indulgence will not consume him/her and distort his/her belief in You. Let his/her ears hearken to your commandments. Let his/her eyes be focus only on the Cross and the righteousness of Your kingdom. I trust you o Lord that you can save him/her from himself/herself in Jesus mighty name, amen.
  5. Abba, Father, help me not to judge him/her whenever I am overwhelmed with his/her behavior. Give me the grace to manifest the kind of humility that will draw my loved one to desire to imbibe. Your word says that Love is patient; Love is kind and keeps no record of wrongs. Help me to manifest these fruits of love in Jesus name. Let my life be a testimony of Your goodness, and Your favour and Your strength. For each time that he/she exhibits his/her narcissistic behavior, let your mighty hand be upon me to let my loved one see the kind of life that they ought to live using my own life as a mirror and a guide. Let him be constantly reminded that You are God, the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, You do not share Your glory with any man and therefore every living soul must bow to Your name and to Your will. As You transformed Saul from a man who hated and persecuted Christians to become Paul, an apostle and a soldier for Christ, I pray to You to transform the spirit of my loved one to become a true representation of Your child and a vessel that will manifest Your glory, Your power, Your goodness and Your majesty. There is nothing impossible for You to do, O Lord. You have a track record of keeping your word. You have sworn that even though the heavens and the earth will pass away, Your word will always endure. A broken and contrite heart, you will never despise. Let Your Holy Spirit break and convict his spirit like it did with Apostle Paul, in Jesus mighty name, amen. (Matthew 7:1-3; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8; Psalm 51:17.)

Thank you Lord for starting a new thing in the life of my loved one, for I know I will soon testify of Your goodness in their life. I pray all in Jesus mighty name, amen.

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