How to Pray for Someone Who Lies

Are you close to someone who tells a lot of lies? How does it feel to know that you can never take their words seriously or trust them? It must be very frustrating keeping up with their tales and double checking what they tell you each time you’re having a conversation with them. Why do people tell lies?

People resort to lying for so many different reasons. It would be almost impossible to list them all. The main reason people lie is low self esteem. They want to impress the person they are lying to. They want to please that person and tell them what they want to hear. You will find that an insecure teenager for instance will prefer to lie in order to gain social acceptance. Another common motive for lying is to avoid punishment. Even adults are guilty of this motive too, especially when they want to evade the consequences of their actions. People also lie to protect themselves from harm, to protect their privacy or to avoid embarrassment.

Some people will lie just because they can. The sheer thrill of getting away with it is what excites them. They do this all the time because they enjoy the power that they obtain in controlling the narrative and love to test that power on their unsuspecting target to see how effective it is. There is also the pathological liar and the compulsive liar. The pathological liar lies incessantly to have their way and does so with little awareness, while the compulsive liar is a person who lies out of habit. Pathological liars tell lies as a coping mechanism mostly developed in early childhood and often associated with a type of mental health disorder known as Antisocial Personality Disorder, (APD). It has been observed that people who have APD and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, (NPD) often indulge in lying. Such liars are usually goal oriented with one purpose in mind, which is to have their way. They have no regard for people’s rights or empathy for anyone’s feelings. They are also often considered to be manipulative or cunning. They will create extravagant stories which they tweak and maintain over time. They often believe their lies and have a weak grip on reality. You will always find them to be confident. They have perfected the art of keeping their gaze on you while lying instead of looking away. Although it may be possible for pathological liars to love someone, it is often difficult for them to maintain an honest and healthy relationship. So their relationships may end up being toxic which can cause stress and pain to their partners.

Telling the truth feels awkward and uncomfortable to the compulsive liar. To them, telling lies feels right. They are always eager to bend the truth about everything whether it is serious or petty. Experts believe that compulsive lying starts from early childhood, especially when they grew up in an environment where lying was routine or necessary. They cannot confront the truth. They avoid it at all costs, that is why they’d rather stick to lying. While compulsive liars may or may not experience a mental disorder, experts say that compulsive lying is usually observed in people with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Bipolar Disorder and borderline personality disorder. Compulsive liars are not manipulative like their pathological counterpart. They lie mostly out of habit. However, their lies are told as an automatic response that is hard to control. People get frustrated with them and find it difficult to trust them because their stories usually don’t add up. This in turn takes a toll on their relationships.

Apart from the spiritual consequences, lying also has some physical consequences. Research has linked the telling of lies to depression, anxiety, increased risk of cancer, increased risk of obesity, poor relationships, addiction, gambling and poor work satisfaction. When people lie to avoid dealing with their emotions or to sweep a problem under the carpet, the same problems will continue to occur and get even worse. Medical treatment is available for pathological and compulsive liars, but the success of the treatment depends on whether the person admits that they have a lying problem in the first place. The treatment options that experts apply include: psychotherapy, repeated counseling and antipsychotic medications. These treatment options may sometimes be used in combination, depending on the underlying psychiatric condition. However family support goes a long way in helping the person to overcome and break the habit.

For children of God, lying is considered a sin. It is among one of the Ten Commandments which says, we should not lie or bear false witness against our neighbor, (Exodus 20:16). The Bible says in Proverbs 6:17 that “a lying tongue is detestable to God.” As Christians, we are promised everlasting life in heaven when we pass from this world. However liars have no place in heaven as confirmed in Psalms 101:7 which says, “No one who practices deceit will dwell in my house; no one who speaks falsely will dwell in my presence.” In Colossians 3:9, we are reminded not to lie to one another, since we have taken off our old self with its practices. Lying is considered to be evil and not of God. God represents truth. Jesus tells us He “the way, the truth and the life,” (John 14:16) and for us as children of God, telling the truth is one way we can represent Jesus on earth. Satan is described in the Bible as the father of all lies. As Jesus tells us,

“If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me. Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him, when he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:42-44).

Based on these scriptures, one can see how important it is for a child of God to stand in the gap for anyone struggling with lying. Not only do they pose a threat to their mental health and happiness, they stand the risk of never keeping solid relationships and the ultimate risk of missing the mark and not making heaven. They also stand the danger of being under the permanent control of Satan the father of all liars.

Here are some prayers you can say to pull your loved one out of the pit of lies.

Prayer Points 

  1. I put on Your full armor as I stand under the protection of Your presence this day to fight this evil. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ, I stand my ground, after I have done everything to stand. I stand firm on Your word, with the belt of truth buckled around my waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, (Ephesians 6:13-14 NIV).
  2. Lord Jesus, right now I take a firm stand for the truth and stand my ground against the spirit of lies with all the power and authority given to me by my savior Jesus Christ, who is my advocate and defender. I come against the lies and decree that they will not rob (call their name) of their joy or destroy their confidence. I will not retreat and I will not lose my faith, because greater is He that is in me than he who is in the world, (1John 4:4).
  3. Lord God, help (call their name) to be obedient to You and your commands. Help him/her not to lie. When he/she is tempted to lie, help him/her rely on your strength to tell the truth. Infuse Your mighty power into his/her body to conquer every difficulty in Jesus name, amen.
  4. O Lord, create in (call their name) a pure heart and fill him/her with pure thoughts and holy desires. Make him/her to be ready to please You at all times. Father in heaven, I know You detest lying lips, but delight in people who are trustworthy. I want (call their name) to be trustworthy. I want him/her to speak the truth in all that he/she does, and in any area of his/her life, in Jesus name, amen.
  5. Lord Jesus, I want (call their name) to be a person of integrity who can be trusted by others. Let (call their name) come broken before You over the lies he/she has told all his/her life. Lord Jesus, You said that when we lie, we speak the language of our father the devil. I do not want (call their name) to speak a prideful, self-serving language. I want him/her to speak Your language; the language of truth and humility. I want (call their name) to put others before himself/herself in Jesus name, Amen.
  6. Heavenly Father, please forgive (call their name) for lying. Forgive him/her for exaggerating to make things seem better or worse than they really are. Remove all traces of the lying spirit from his/her life, o Lord. Wash him/her with thy blood that he/may be purified and sanctified as a new creature in Jesus name, amen.
  7. Heaven Father, give (call their name) victory over lying. Do a new and great work in his/her life in the area of truthfulness. Fill him/her with the Holy Spirit to overflowing. Put a guard over his/her mouth and change his/her heart that he/she may honor your name. Take away every spirit of deception from him/her and command lying and deceit to leave him now, in Jesus mighty name, amen.

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